


I chose to feel it (and you couldn't choose)

by addictedtoangst



Category: The Rich Man's Daughter (TV)
Genre: F/F, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-19
Updated: 2015-08-19
Packaged: 2018-04-15 14:56:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4610970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/addictedtoangst/pseuds/addictedtoangst
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i> I've already accepted that we can't be together, that it's impossible. - Althea, Ep 16 </i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	I chose to feel it (and you couldn't choose)

**Author's Note:**

> Previously posted as an untitled Jathea and Books headcanon on my tumblr  
> It starts when Jade and Althea first start living together.

Jade reads whatever she can find on the bookshelves at Althea’s place, even though it’s mostly fashion magazines. After four articles on how to please your lover, she gives up (but not before trying #8 on Althea that night). Maybe there’s a use for those magazines after all.

When they move in with Batchi and later, Wila, a slow and gradual collection of books starts to accumulate. Althea repeatedly trips on them and struggles to glare at Jade for being messy (and a _Senorita_ ). Wila is much less civil and loudly whines about not being a cleaning lady for an heiress.

As Miggy adjusts to life at home with the two of them (and weird Aunt Wila), Jade starts to bring over books that they can read together. She can tell that Miggy doesn’t like it at first, mostly because he would rather play outside, but also because his reading level is far below other kids his own age. Jade patiently starts with easy books and relentlessly cheers his progress. Althea shakes her head as she watches them; her son doesn’t stand a chance against that smile.

Reading with someone is not something Miggy has ever experienced before, but he soon loves curling up into Mommy Jade’s side and giggling over the funny voices she makes. Sometimes one of them falls asleep on the couch, sometimes both of them do – which is why they completely miss Althea’s too-bright eyes as she carefully drapes a blanket over them. After they complete their first big book, Miggy spends an entire afternoon sketching Miggy the dog with three heads. 

On the rare and precious nights when Miggy is away at Marinelle’s, Althea pushes any and all books off their bed and Jade is all too happy to let her. It’s how they learn that Althea has a weakness for Jade wearing her reading glasses and Jade has a weakness for Althea whimpering in long-forgotten Tagalog words.

It all comes to an abrupt end. Miggy and Althea move into their new place and for weeks, Althea finds books hidden within different boxes (oh that sneaky son of hers). She refuses to have anything to do with them and dumps them all into one box to keep in Miggy’s room. 

It’s only on her weakest days that she allows herself to caress the sleeve of a book that is not hers – that will _never_ be hers – and attempts to trace Jade’s scent among the pages. Over the next months, Althea slowly begins to read every book that she has ever seen Jade read and collect those that she doesn’t have (even while telling herself that this habit has nothing to do with Jade herself and more to do with becoming a better informed mother. Miggy gets a lot of practice rolling his eyes at this explanation).

Time passes and life is peaceful for Kathleen, Miggy and Althea and no one really comments on the growing bookshelf that lines the walls of Althea’s bedroom. Kathleen sometimes wonders why Althea has so many travel books, especially to foreign destinations which Kathleen knows that Althea has never actually visited. And why there’s a few business magazines and newspapers tucked in among bridal catalogs, all featuring the same prominent Chinese-Filipino tycoon and his family. She keeps these questions to herself, mostly because Althea has never been forthcoming about her own past. One wrong question and the woman seems to brood for days. And really it’s Miggy who endearingly shares details about a woman named Mommy Jade. 

Seeing Jade at the park destroys many carefully constructed illusions. Within a matter of seconds, Kathleen witnesses every painful truth that Althea has hidden from her. She waits for Althea to say something, but the woman stumbles home that night in no condition to talk. The alcohol lays her flat, but Althea sleeps fitfully and twice over, calls out for lablab. It’s not the first time Kathleen has heard that word and when she presses for an explanation in the morning, Althea has none to give.

Nothing changes outwardly, but the temperature at home begins to simmer with tension. Above them hangs the looming threat of a confrontation. And maybe that’s why Althea finds herself increasingly escaping to the same park where her past had stood before her like a shimmering daydream. 

Sometimes Althea sits on a park bench and reads until the evening light has completely faded. Sometimes she doesn’t read at all and just sits, running her thumb up and down the ridges of a worn out cover. 

There are some books that are meant to be read in reverse, she thinks, and some that were never meant to be written with final chapters at all. 

She finally accepts why she’s been reading the books all this time.

-*-

**Author's Note:**

> This moment is not life waiting to happen, goals waiting to be achieved, words waiting to be spoken, connections waiting to be made, regrets waiting to evaporate, aliveness waiting to be felt, enlightenment waiting to be gained. No. Nothing is waiting. This is it. 
> 
> This moment is life.


End file.
